The last three years of my spiritual journey have been very interesting. At times they have been chaotic and frustrating – followed by clarity, deep understanding, and a shift. I circled the drain more than once (what I call those moments where we are just stuck, repeating old patterns, because we are holding onto something that is no longer needed or real). It is fitting that in the Moon of the Balancer, two Moons before the great Phoenix Moon, that I find myself ready to share, because I myself understand.
This is going to be a long one, so you may want to grab a drink and get comfy, while I take you on a journey.
Deities
It has been almost 12 years since The Morrigan came into my conscious life – where I started working with Deities. A partnership and Bond that would forever change me. I feel my approach was key in this – letting Them directly Guide and teach me, verses the more common bow-down worship of Them. That doesn’t mean I did not honor Them and look up to Them, but our servitude is not Their mode either.
For me, my Deities were my teachers. They showed me the side of a Death Witch – the way of transformation. How to do effective and true shadow work – Honest reflection, deconstructions of others beliefs I was conditioned with, how to discover my own, and build my own true foundations. How to heal the wounds instead of just putting a band aid on them. The taught me about the journey of the soul, the construction of The Web, the depths of the Well. How to create Boundaries and the real reasons behind them. How to hold self-sovereignty and respect the sovereignty of others. They taught me about Death and Rebirth. What this world is and the Unseen that live along side us. What Duality really was, or is supposed to be, the two opposite sides of a pattern working in alignment together.
They were my skill teachers. They taught me how to tap into and enhance my soul senses (psychic senses). How to trance and spirit walk. How to shift, weave, and blend energies for purpose. How to be the Tower and the Creator that comes after. How to bare Witness and be a Voice. How to communicate and work with the Unseen, including our Dead. They taught me how to walk the Road of the Dead, the rules of the Well, and how to consciously connect and use that which my Ancestral Soul holds.
There is much more to all of this, but this gives you an idea of the journey with Them.
Letting Go
The past couple of years They have been trying to be clear that Their work is done. They showed me the aspect of the Core energy – The Core Feminine and Masculine patterns, a Duality working in harmonious alignment together – that underlying energy I felt in all the Deities I interacted with because every Deity was a Face, an embodiment, an aspect of that Core.
I circled that drain for so long, because the idea of letting go held such conflict within me. I felt like I was losing this companion, this teacher, but I wasn’t. They will never be gone, our bond will never fade, because They are literally the Web itself – the Energy of Death and Rebirth – the Holder of all patterns, all energy – They are the Keeps and Guardians of all cycles and patterns.
It took awhile to get there. I had to understand Them first as a part of the whole, a face. Then I had to understand Them as the Faceless and nameless. Then as what They truly are at Their core. Each time I experienced a type of Death, a type of Grief for that death, and then the re-birthing of the new form. Deeper and deeper, until I reached the core. It is part of transformation work, the work death prepares us for. Even for a seasoned Death worker, we still struggle at times because we feel all of it, we experience it differently but at times also more profoundly because we are Death workers.
It took a long time, almost this whole Phoenix Moon Cycle (the 3 year moon cycle of transformation) to really move through the whole transformation. In reflection though, so did all the other work. It seems fast paced when you are in it, because working with Deities is like putting that growth on steroids – but when it comes to the point of the major transformation points: it is a combination of many smaller transformations, blending and weaving together, and then a reconciliation period to see the big picture of all of them, then a death of the old and rebirth of the new path/ you. I did not realize it then, but can see it now, that it follows this 3 year cycle of the Moon, the macro moon cycle, the Phoenix Cycle.
My Deities will never be gone. They will always be a part of me and my path. There will be more depth but not outward expansion with Them. They have done what was needed, They created the Death Emissary, the Death Witch, and now it is time for the other half of that Duality – Earth Magic, Living Magic – the movement of the Witch.
Not a Change but an Expansion
I will always work with the Soul, Spirits, the Unseen, Death and Rebirth. I will always be a Death Emissary – that does not change or go away just because my path forward changes. That is a mistake I see some make. When a new path emerges they feel they have to leave behind their old one. Sometimes that may be true, but often it is adding to, building upon it. What I have experienced so far has taught me, that if I had not walked the path of the last decade, I would not have the ability, skills, knowledge, and wisdom to do the work ahead properly. I would not have the solid foundations within myself and my abilities to hold the structure now been built upon it.
The Spirits are Rising
For months now the spirit activity around me, my home, has been crazy. It is always higher around this time of year and through December because humans as a collective are more focused on them. First with the “spooky” season, and then through the holidays, missing those who are no longer here. All that energy focused their direction feeds them and calls to them, thus they are more drawn and present. This is different though.
Ancestors are the heaviest – not those connected to Ancestral Soul, just regular Ancestors. There is also a lot more activity from the Unseen, land spirits, elementals, Fae, and so forth. Generally they stick to certain areas designated for them, such as my witchy room – a long standing protection measure I have had in place because of my kids. The Unseen seem to still be holding this, but Ancestors are not. My kids have had numerous encounters and experiences, especially over the past month. Nothing bad, I have a servitor who specifically guards and filters that for me, but things that have definitely freaked them out a bit.
In a way it is kind of fun. My kids have always been on the fence about spirit stuff, way more science proof heavy than experience based – which isn’t a bad thing, but skeptics tend to get more rattled by these kind of experiences. I just keep reminding them it is only their ancestors trying to get their attention.
As a precautionary though, since the activity has reached all across the house, I linked my Spirit Guardian Servitor to the House spirit to work together on the guidelines of entry.
It is hard to say though, if it is a rise in ancestors in general, especially women ancestors, or my own transformation of path. Many I know have been experiencing that increased energy from ancestors because of the current state of the people here – the potential threats against women and other marginalized groups, going backwards in human rights, and so forth. I think the political and religious climates have been bringing them forth on the whole. Yet, what is happening here, in my house and life, seems to be more.
Earth Magic – Living Magic
The other side of Death Magic is Earth Magic – another Duality pattern. Not from the narrow view of how a green witch is portrayed often in our community, but physical world/ living world magic. In Death Magic we are focused on the Soul, Spirits, the Unseen worlds. We work in Cycles and Patterns of time, energy, and so forth. Earth Magic is focused on the living matter, the body, social structures, and living life concerns. Working the Cycles and Patterns that are directed at the physical body experiencing the physical world.
For example: A Death Witch will primarily work with the energy and core patterns of an herb, not needing the actual plant itself to do the work (working from soul/ energy of the herb). An Earth Witch will primarily work with the actual plant itself, the physical matter and how it interacts from a physical perspective. Of course there is always a bit a both when working magic – we are just talking about primary mode of focus here.
Ancestors, for me, are the heavy Guides and teachers right now for this work. They are the ones stepping up, just as Deities stepped up for the other side.
The Morrigan and Kari taught me about the depths of Sovereignty, boundaries, guardianship, battle, judgment, Justice, perspective, dualities and creating alignment between opposing sides. They helped me to unearth the power within myself, to harness it, to use it. They taught me the skills needed to execute these foundations and use them. Now the Ancestors, land spirits, Earth energies are taking that to real-time practical applications of those foundations for the times we face now, the living world.
I do not know what the road ahead will look like exactly, or what new secrets will be unlocked. That comes from walking the journey. If the past month is any indication though – there will be a lot and moving quickly.
The timing is also perfect when it comes to the Moon’s macro cycle, for on Dec 30th we enter the Phoenix Moon – an ending for a new beginning, the in-between, the celebration of what was and preparing for what is to come next.