I had a strange dream a little over a week ago. I was in some type of wooded back yard holding a large french loaf of bread filled with green olives. I was walking towards the side yard heading to the front when two large “crows” landed behind me. I tore off some bread and olives and threw it behind me as I kept moving forward. Two more came, and I threw some more behind me… They just kept coming, almost with a feverish aggression, not violent just very in your face. I kept throwing the bread and olives. Then I stopped and decided to take a bite of the bread and olives. It was gross but I also do not like olives. Then a “crow” flew right in front of my face, cawing loudly, and almost like a voice inside me but more just a clear message ”ravens not crows.”
I have found that walking with The Morrigan is almost like living a different life. The person I was before Her and the person I am now are very different. I have had explosive growth in my craft and spirituality. I see the world through new eyes and new perspectives. I have awakened things within myself I didn’t know were there. I have had experiences that could not be explained but solidly confirmed that they were real beyond myself.
I spent the majority of my practice and spiritual life without deity, I was not looking to bring them in my practice, yet She was there the whole time anyway. When I finally acknowledged Her there was no denying who She was or Her presence throughout my life. When I welcomed Her in, I opened a whole new world that was always there but I could not see. When I dedicated myself to Her, and offered myself as Her vessel, the bond that was weaved left me awestruck. It wasn’t just words, I could actually feel and see the bond being weaved between us. It’s something hard to explain unless you experience it, but it was one of the most powerful experiences in my spiritual life I had encountered up to that point. It was an undeniable confirmation for myself. It continues to grow stronger and now is something I always feel.
I have had several experiences over the years with Her where I will be laying down for bed or doing some mundane task and I will hear Her voice clearly telling me to give a message to someone. The first time it happened I was laying down and was exhausted, then all of a sudden I heard a voice telling me to tell a friend a certain message. I quickly texted it without thinking much about it, and the friend came back immediately telling me it was exactly what she was struggling with right then. The message comforted her. This has happened numerous times and all came with confirmation from the party the message was for. I’ll be honest, I have a healthy skepticism so I always question these encounters deeply. It’s not that I don’t want to have faith, but it’s more about ensuring that the experience is real and not something my mind conjures. That can be hard for some to understand, but the science and skeptics out there I’m sure will. The thing I have noticed with all of these is that the message I am asked to give to others is always so clear and blunt, but The Morrigan’s messages to me always seem more cryptic like a puzzle. Some parts are super clear but there is always a riddle somewhere in there. Although I understand why this is (just because of how I work and learn) it nonetheless is frustrating.
So this brings us back to the dream. We’ll start with the ravens. The words “ravens not crows”. We have had 3-5 birds that I just assumed were crows walking the perimeter of our property for weeks now. Almost like patrolling the area, and that is the feeling I got from them. I posted pictures of them on facebook and would sit on the porch in the evenings and watch them. I assumed they were crows because those are more common to see here, and I never really made a separation in my mind between crows and ravens. Obviously the distinction mattered to The Morrigan though. So the next day I looked up how to tell them apart and studied our feathered patrol… yep Ravens, not crows.
The second part of the raven aspect had to do with them flocking down behind me, almost like chasing me down for attention, and then the one flying and cawing right in front of my face. Yep, this too became very apparent the next day when I pulled out Her tarot deck. I have been working on ancestor magic/ connection lately and the Goddess Hela for that work. The Morrigan is always there but I find others deities come in from time to time to teach me something or have me research something I wouldn’t have but becomes pivotal to my growth. Anyway, it seems obvious that what I needed from Hela was achieved and that The Morrigan was once again taking center stage for me. She was getting my attention to say it was time to refocus and continue forward.
The riddle in the dream still eludes me though. The loaf of bread and olives. I know it is significant, and is very prominent, but none of the research I did really felt right. My interpretations of those items don’t seem to fit the events of the dream either. This is usually how it goes though. Some aspects of Her messages for myself are crystal clear but there is always some mystery I need to uncover. I’m not naturally good with people who “drop hints” instead of just being blunt about what they want or need. I keep thinking this is one reason She may do this, in order to make me see their hint dropping since most people I know do this. It sucks though because I would much rather people be direct and just tell or ask me what they need or want.
I’m still searching for the meaning of the bread and olives, and I know eventually it will come to me, but I hate waiting.