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Being Smacked by a Goddess

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So last Thursday I wrote a blog post about the The Morrigan, Badb, and Macha and my feelings. I recorded it for my youtube channel, and even had it set to launch the next morning. Later that night though I got a huge smack down from Her saying something wasn’t right and to stop the launch of the video. At the same time I was having a strange experience with my mantra prayer to The Morrigan. Both of these are connected to each other, but I will have to explain them separately for you to understand.

I’m starting with the mantra since that was the beginning. I have been saying a mantra prayer to The Morrigan almost daily. Goddess Morrigan, Lady of Nine Faces, Guardian of Nine gates, Allow me to walk in your energy. When my road is dark and when it is light, when it is twisted and when it is straight. To walk with you means to have faith, faith requires sacrifice, sacrifice does not exist without love. This is your way.

Two days prior to this I made a change in a line of it. I would say it three times with the original mantra, and then three times with altering “allow me to walk in your energy” to “merge my energy with yours”. I say it with my eyes closed and when I was saying the “allow” mantra I saw these light streams dancing on my eyelids and the energy felt light, and when I would say the “merge” line everything would go pitch black and the energy felt heavy but very powerful. This never happened before and I felt it was very strange. So I repeated it again the next night with the same result. The Morrigan was definitely sending a message but I wasn’t sure what it was. I thought perhaps the merge sounded like a demand and She didn’t like it, or the other possibility was I was feeling both Her sides, light and dark.

The third night of this was Thursday January 7th. As I said, I wrote an article about different interpretations of The Morrigan and how some viewed her as three Goddesses, yet I did not. I could see the aspects of those Goddesses within Her, but as Her, not separate from Her. After getting the recording of the blog set I went to do my mantra prayer and decided I would try something different. I would say half of the 99 prayers with the line “allow” and the other half of the set with the line “merge”. What happened blew me away.

The first half went the same, but when I started saying the second it was almost like I was detaching from my body, in a similar fashion to astral walking. I could hear the words, but the longer I said them the farther away I felt, like my soul was drifting upwards. It was awareness of both the body and soul. I realized in that moment she wasn’t offended by the words, I was just doing it wrong. The “allow” line was asking for the connection between us to open, the “merge” line was truly merging our energies. 

The longer it went on and afterwards I had visions of all the things I had been talking about. Everything became so clear to me. It wasn’t that what I felt was wrong, but that I was not saying it in ways others could understand and was a much larger concept than just Her. I spent the next two days talking with my husband on these topics. I have come to learn over the years that the way I experience things is different from others and he helps me understand how others might think and perceive information in order to find the right way to convey what is in my head so others can conceptualize it. Through the conversations with him and reflection, I found a way to convey all this information in a way that will hopefully make it easier for others to see. It deals with how we look at deity, religion, self, and community. It focuses on core patterns, not where they diverge. The space that changes our perspective so we can feel each other in an interconnected way. They are large concepts, yet so simple once it clicks. So I am working on a Core Patterns series right now that will break it down into understandable segments that will hopefully start rolling out this week. 

The point of this post though is reflection and listening. Too often when we feel deity, energy, or even other people smack our hand with a “NO” our instinct is to change directions. I am finding when The Morrigan smacks me in these ways, it is not to tell me I am wrong, but that I am still just on the surface of the issue or concept. The work was started but that I stopped digging deeper way too soon. Sometimes it is about taking a path I never would have, in order to find pieces of information that is needed to complete the picture. Just because The Morrigan is smacking my hand, doesn’t mean it is a sign to quit, but to do a deep reflection to understand what it really means. Is she telling me I am really doing something wrong or is she telling me the work has just begun and I need to go deeper. It requires me to connect and listen to Her and where she is guiding me.

I spent the weekend reflecting on all of this. I did a tarot reading on this path of core patterns and it was a strong, in my face, yes – this is the direction. If you use tarot in shadow or directional work you will understand what I am saying here. There was no room for interpretation. Every card was clear from the moment they were turned over and it just hits you with this overwhelming power. 

No matter how you perceive energy patterns – as deity, as universal energy, as spirit guides, or any other construct, there is knowledge and power there if we open ourselves up and consciously connect to it. Even though I have an open mind to the magical, I also have the skepticism of a science minded person. I find the balance between the two keeps me grounded and allows me to see what is real and what is illusion. As I have said before though, working with The Morrigan on a conscious level though has opened the floodgates for me. The way information flows from the energy is completely different now. The power behind my practice has intensified beyond anything my skeptical mind could conceive. It doesn’t matter to me what others think about this relationship anymore because what I am experiencing is undeniable to me. It can be looked at in a variety of ways, and hopefully as we get into Core Patterns others will be able to understand as well. It doesn’t matter how you view the guide, it is about the experience with them and where the journey leads.

So until next time, Keep walking your own path.

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